Now, here I am, five years later, in a bit of an emotional stupor about saying goodbye. Pardon me while I cry into my beer (a local IPA, of course!).
Tommy and I have gone back and forth for years about moving to New York. He has lived there twice, but years ago when he was a much younger and different person. I have been there many times but have never lived there. We have always wanted to have the experience together, whether for one year or five years or twenty years. We always said we'd do it if one of us had an opportunity to take a job out there that would facilitate us moving. Well, that happened. Tommy has been hired as a client relations manager for Urban Electric Company. He will basically be the front man to their New York area clients, calling on them, making sure they are happy with the products and services they are receiving, probably referring new customers to the company. He will be doing a lot of chatting and schmoozing and entertaining. So, basically, being Tommy. Many people have asked what I will be doing. Well, as little as possible. I plan to be a man of leisure, lunch a lot, and by "lunch" I mean liquid lunch. No, actually, I will be pursuing the dream so many of us have pursued in NY. I will be auditioning, trying to market myself, network, taking classes, the whole New York thing. Is it a little weird and scary to be doing this at my age? HELL, YES! But that fear and that absurdity is kind of what is motivating me to do it. I'm not collecting social security just yet. I'm not infirm. I don't have any overwhelming desire to settle down and buy a home and nest. So why not now? Five years from now, I might feel differently; but right now I'm game. So my hope is that everyone who knows and loves us will just send us all the positive energy they can, as they always have. It's an interesting situation because there is absolutely no reason to leave this beautiful city; but there is absolutely no reason to not take advantage of this opportunity and have this new adventure either. When people ask me what MY plan is, I sense (and this is probably my own insecurity) that they wonder if I have doubts or fears. Do I have a backup plan? What are my expectations? Well, I haven't got any, other than my expectation of myself to support my partner in his new role, to make a home for us and to channel my own talent and ambition into navigating this new world. No one ever knows how NY is going to treat them until they get there. I plan to go in with an open mind (and probably get the proverbial shit kicked out of me) and just enjoy the ride, rough though it may be.
I am very glad to state that we already have an incredible support network in NY, so we will never feel alone. I'm thankful to be moving to a city where I already know so many amazing people. Of course, what hurts right now is what we are leaving behind.
I knew when we visited this amazing city in March 2009, there was something very special about it. And that truth was emphasized time and time again, as we settled into our new apartment and got to know our neighborhood, as we became employed, as we started scoping out the theater scene and as we started making new friends.
It's funny-and I don't mean to minimize the friendships I have back home in So Cal-but when we left Long Beach for Portland, I was ready! I was ready to leave our little 575 sq ft apartment in which I'd resided for twelve years. I was ready to donate all of our furniture. I even gladly said goodbye to 24 cabinets of VHS movies! While I knew I would miss my friends and family, I was ready for a change and eager to live somewhere new. How ironic that we'll be lucky to get 575 sq ft in NY.
Five years later, it's harder. And when I look around at our Portland family and our apartment (huge by NY standards), I have to fight this little depression that's trying to get me. I went to Powell's today to sell a ton of books. When the employee asked if I wanted cash or store credit, I felt a lump in my throat, knowing there was no reason for store credit.
When a friend came over to take our media storage unit off our hands, the one I never thought was anything special, I felt a little melancholy saying goodbye to the little pieces of our home that made it home. This evening, I walked down to Laughing Planet for a bite to eat, most of which is locally sourced food, and I read the Portland Mercury and laughed and thought about how I will miss this ease of life, the quirky Portland sense of humor, the pride we all have in our food and beer and wine and coffee, the wonderful walkability of this city, the many pockets we have explored and have yet to explore.
Last night, we went to a small theater just a few blocks away and saw some friends in a truly impressive show and then met some other friends around the corner for cocktails. How special that we can do that without leaving our own neighborhood!
I know we are moving to what some would call the best city in the world. We will have no shortage of fine cuisine, fun nights out, theater, culture; but I will miss what we have in Portland. I will miss the parties with our amazing circle of friends. I will miss having these people close and being able to see them frequently. I will miss the kooky sensibilities of Portlanders and their pride and wacky humor. I will miss the Living Room Theater where I can see an indie or a documentary or foreign film for $5 on a Monday or Tuesday and have a cocktail and dinner brought to my reserved seat in the screening room. I will miss going to virtually any movie theater and being able to get an IPA or a glass of wine and something to eat besides popcorn and milk duds.
I will miss Live Wire Radio which I only just discovered! I will certainly miss having 850 sq ft for less than $3000 a month.
Of course, there are a few things I will not miss. Cyclists who seemingly own the road, yet are not subject to its rules. Meth heads and transients who troll our local parks at night and harass people who are JUST TRYING TO WALK THEIR DAMN DOG! Oregon drivers.
But the few things that annoy me from time to time pale next to the myriad things I will miss.
I never blogged about all of the incredible things we did here. The hikes along the Gorge, sailing in the Columbia with friends, visiting the San Juan Islands, attending the Oregon Shakespeare Festival in Ashland, our trips to the breathtaking Oregon coast, Sunriver with my team from work, wine tasting through the local valley with good friends. But we barely scratched the surface of all the amazing things there are to do and see here. I can't believe five years has come and gone. Five years! Wasn't it yesterday that we met our little Godzilla at the Oregon Humane Society and kept him in a crate down in the men's dressing room while performing Sweet Charity with a group of new awesome friends?
My time can't be up here because there are still a slew of restaurants I haven't tried! There's beaches I haven't checked out yet. Crater Lake! We never got there. I could live here the rest of my life and never be bored and never run out of new adventures.
I will miss it so much. And I will miss our Portland friends too much for words. I am so thankful for the last five years and how fortunate we have been. This is really going to hurt. I miss you already, Portland!
