New York, New York! It's a wonderful town!

WE DID IT! We are Upper West Siders! When we started talking about moving to New York, Tommy said he always wanted to live on the Upper West Side, but we thought it would not be in the budget so we were looking elsewhere like Hell's Kitchen, Harlem and parts of Brooklyn and Queens. There was a building we liked in Hells' Kitchen that offered "affordable housing" if you met a certain income requirement. We applied for that one, and we really thought we had it, but they ended up declining us based on my "income potential". Even though I am unemployed, they said "based on our earnings from last year", there was no reason to expect we would earn the same or more. I vowed that I had no intention of resuming work in the banking industry, and that I have very little potential, and they should consider me a deadbeat, but they demurred.
Saddened AND forlorn, we resumed looking around, and that day there just happened to be an open house for this one property on West 79th St that was just above our budget. We made an appointment to look at it with the broker and immediately felt a connection to it upon arriving. The neighborhood, the funkiness of the unit, the covered terrace which is totally random and does not exist in any other apartment on our block. We said we'd think about it but were feeling pretty positive. The next day, we met a couple other brokers and looked at some different places. None of them spoke to us. Wait. I take that back. One of them spoke to us; it said "I am disgusting. You should run like hell." That was the one still occupied by the pig owner and his cat, and it had so much stuff piled up everywhere we couldn't see the floor or much of the furniture, or the stove under the caked unidentifiable substance.
We quickly contacted the broker and said "We want it! Is it still available?" There was one other tentative offer, but she relayed our interest to the management and they accepted us.
Now, one thing we have quickly learned as new New Yorkers is that NOTHING is ever easy. NOTHING! If you want anything done, you better pull up your big boy pants and steamroll whoever is in your way to get it done. No one has any interest in making anything easy for you. This would seem to include little things we take for granted on the west coast like cleaning an apartment before turning it over to new tenants, changing the locks, checking the water pressure, etc. We got to our new apartment and it had been painted. That's it. So the dirt and dust and grime was just mixed in with paint chips. The kitchen cupboards were thick with grease residue from, I'm guessing, 1995. The oven had clearly never been cleaned. And the refrigerator may have been used for science projects involving the growth of alien flora. Some of it remained.
Our movers arrived with all 100 boxes of furniture and items from our previous apartment that was double the size of our new one. We scrambled to arrange boxes in a way that would allow some bodily movement. We managed to fit our king size bed in our queen size bedroom. And we commenced cleaning. I think I speak for both of us when I say we have never worked so hard to make a place nice, but the payoff has been great. After about three days of scrubbing, scouring, dusting, vacuuming, swiffering, unboxing, organizing and making umpteen trips across the street to the Goodwill store, we had a little apartment to enjoy. It is a small one-bedroom. In fact, it's not even a true one-bedroom. It is actually a large studio that has been separated with a fake wall. But it works for us. And the terrace is the best part! I am sitting on it currently! We have our coffee, breakfast, happy hour, recreational drugs (just kidding, Ma!) all out here as we peek over the side and people-watch. I am so tempted to yell out "YOU! The cute one. You come up. The rest of you keep walking!"
If we walk two blocks west, we are at Riverside Park which is my favorite. Not only is it a huge beautiful green space, but there are multiple dog runs AND before 9:00 am, the whole 79th to 86th St portion is off-leash. This makes Godzilla very happy. Two blocks to the east is the Museum of Natural History where there is also a lovely surrounding park including a dog run. Just on the other side of the museum is Central Park West. Directly below us is an incredible coffee shop called Irving Farm which has quickly replaced Lovejoy Bakers as our favorite go-to for coffee, goodies and lunch. We have three-yes, three-laundry/dry cleaners right out our front door. We have an animal hospital, the aforementioned Goodwill and a historic Irish pub across the street. And we have myriad restaurants and markets mere steps away. The subway is ON OUR STREET which is going to be very nice come winter. It's literally less than 100 feet away. When I told Mom about our new apartment her first concern was "Is there a grocery store nearby?" I think at some point somebody (it might have been me) told my mom there are no supermarkets in New York City because this is always her first question. Well, Mom, hold your hats and hallelujah-YES! Fairway Market is the world's greatest grocery store, and it is four blocks away! And if I ever don't want to go that far, there's a Westside Market two blocks away.
While we don't have the amazing luxury building we had in Portland, we have managed to replicate a lot of what we loved about being there, such as the restaurants, the walkability, the park space and, most importantly, the proximity to everything. We are kind of smack dab in the heart of the city, BUT not mid-town which would probably be much noisier and busier. But from where we sit, it is so easy to get anywhere, and we have a nice central home that I hope will also be home (until 11:00 pm, of course) to our friends because it's easy to get to from anywhere else.
All of this to say, we are doing very well and happily settling in to our new digs. We can't wait to show it off so please make a visit to see us here!*
Oh, also, any and all invitations for complimentary seating at Broadway shows will be entertained.

*"seeing us" does not mean "staying with us." We love you, but we have less than 500 sq ft. Get a freakin' hotel.** Come over for happy hour.

**Unless your name is Mom. You gave us life. The couch is always here for you.